do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
