omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Vodka?
Forever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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