She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
