we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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