Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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