wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
