my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
