Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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