In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is it because I queefed?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
