don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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