3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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