The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
