Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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