I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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