Its about making memories worth repressing
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
