just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
