Christians are straight up FREAKS
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
