So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
