super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
