these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
