I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
