cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
