Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What a dumb baby whore.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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