All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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