I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
