I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
