Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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