were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
