I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it glows. i had to have it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
