im drinking this country out of the recession.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
