Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
