i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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