? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
