So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
