I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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