Plan B is the new Plan A
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
