well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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