Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
