I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
