Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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