Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
