dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
