dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
