no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
