Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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