Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
