Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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