Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
