i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
