Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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