this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
