Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
